MTheads

Time, Friend or Foe?

I miss homeschooling.  It puts a shadow over my heart every day I see the kids off to school, especially the youngest one.  Thank God I got to teach her to read last year.  She's the last one, the end of our parenting young children.

We decided to put the kids into a private school here in Moscow for a variety of reasons, not the least being that I'm very busy here.  The school is also quite the experience in itself, one the kids are really enjoying.  And I didn't want them to miss this experience out of my own needs or out of a misguided belief that my children could only thrive in a homeschooling environment.

Also, sometimes it's good to completely shake up one's life.  Everything about the way we live now is different from what it was for the last 14 years.  And it's exciting.  Change is hard and inconvenient and risky.  But it also gives one a different perspective on the passing of time.  It's tempting to make life flow by with few snags -- everything just right, the routine smooth, the food predictable, the company comfortable.  You live by the seasons and holidays, the rhythms of the year, year in and year out, not noticing that time is puddling under your easy chair and not much is left. 

Real change is like depth perception.  Suddenly, the days aren't so much flat as spread out before you in a panorama of hills and troughs formed by memory inducing activities and sights.  I feel time more now that I no longer hold to a comfortable routine.  That's a gift.  But I still miss my children.

What Came Before

I think Dante was inspired to write that second half of the poem, and then he quickly wrote the first half just to fill it out and give the poem some context.  The second half is so much better, and contains the punch that makes the poem worth reading, in my opinion.  I think of that last line a lot -- The woodspurge has a cup of three.  It's the perfect little trite thing to consider when events are too tremendous to comprehend.

What We Remember

The Woodspurge

The wind flapped loose, the wind was still,

Shaken out dead from tree and hill:

I had walked on at the wind's will, --

I sat now, for the wind was still.

Between my knees my forehead was, --

My lips drawn in, said not Alas!

My hair was over in the grass,

My naked ears heard the day pass.

My eyes, wide open, had the run

Of some ten weeds to fix upon;

Among those few, out of the sun,

The woodspurge flowered, three cups in one.

From perfect grief there need not be

Wisdom or even memory:

One thing then learnt remains to me, --

The woodspurge has a cup of three..

Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Solzhenitzyn Cracks Me Up

I've been a bit busy and haven't been able to post for a few days.  I am in Moscow, after all, and there's so much to do here.  I'm also trying to improve my Russian.  Not easy for someone who isn't particularly talkative.  But I try.

I've also been doing some reading.  I just finished Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bugalkov.  Damn, what a good book--so interesting, and funny too.  I find a lot of humor in Russian literature.  But when I talk to other people about Russian books, like Crime and Punishment, they can't imagine what I found humorous.  Maybe I'm simple.  I think I'll read Gogol's Dead Souls next.  That should be a riot.  I recently bought it for my kindle.

Speaking of kindles, I love mine.  I had put off getting one due to the price and the fact that it's not back-lit.  But I've come to appreciate its soft gray format.  My only complaint is that not many non-fiction books are available yet.  I tend to read mostly non-fiction histories and social commentary type books but have trouble finding the ones I most want to read. 

Right now I'm reading A Country of Vast Designs: James K. Polk, The Mexican War and the Conquest of the American Continent by Robert W. Merry. -- A tad tedious, though certainly informative.  I've learned a whole bunch about the Mexican-American war than I ever knew.  I'd always kind of assumed it was a total rout on our part, but, according to Merry, Americans actually went up against great odds both militarily and politically.

It's interesting to note that the anti-war faction of the time criticized the war but still voted to support it monetarily.  Who wanted to be left out of the great land grab that gave our country two ocean-side views?  And one argument for our conquest of the northern part of Mexico is sound.  Mexico couldn't govern its northern provinces for various reasons like too few colonialists in the area and a corrupt government.  Other countries were sniffing around also looking for opportunities to snag some choice land.  Sparsely occupied, poorly governed, and eyeballed by foreign powers inimical to the United States, Americans took up residence.  A lesson I read again and again, land that can't be defended will become someone else's.

Sit, Kaitlyn, Sit

At a dog park, if you closed your eyes, you would swear you were either at a local public playground or outside an elementary school when it lets out.  Dog owners have taken to giving their dogs human names like Lucy or Phil or Fred.  And they talk to their dogs like they do to children.  

"Zoe, mommy doesn't like it when you don't play nice."

"Lucy, bring daddy the ball."

"Max, get off that chihuahua."

Unfortunately, my children's names are quite popular with dog owners.  Their names always make the top five and top ten lists.  I can't go to a dog park or a pet shop without encountering at least 18 dogs or products for dogs sharing my kids' names.  It's wrong.  And it should be illegal.  When we take our kids along to the dog park it can get very confusing. 

"Oh, does your dog really listen to you when you tell her not to go near the water?" 

"Ah, no.  I'm talking to my real daughter, using the human name we carefully chose for her so as to distinguish her from cartoon characters and pets."  

So, I'm planning on naming all my next pets based on the most trendy children's names, like Kaitlyn, Brandon, and Jacob.  I think "Madison, stop licking your butt and go run around" has a nice ring to it.

Speaking of pets, here's my little darling in his winter sweater. 

He doesn't like the cold.  Or people.

Fermented Rye Soda. What's Not to Love?

 

I love Russian food -- to include cabbage, beets, buckwheat, caviar, and Kvass.  Of course, I love just about all food.  Name it, and I probably have called it my favorite food at some point in my life.  But my love of kvass seems not to be shared by too many other Americans.  I'm not sure why.  It tastes like molasses soda.  But it's no stranger than strong ginger beer or old fashioned root beer.  It's not as sweet as soda and it's more interesting than juice.  And it's exceptionally thirst quenching.  I drink a bottle a day now (or more).

I've also discovered real Kefir.  It's some tart fermented milk drink.  Not bad.  Though only the dog and I drink it.  I bet it would make a great soup base, too.

We finally got our internet bill paid.  There was some snafu that would have been easy to fix before the holidays, but the office closed for two weeks over Christmas.  We've been "sharing" some neighbor's service (the Man calls it stealing, but I call it scarce resource reallocation).  I bet they thought their internet was running really slow due to the holidays...hahahahaha, nope, just us.

Ever Feel Like This?

The World is Too Much with Us

The world is too much with us; late and soon,  

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;

Little we see in nature that is ours;

We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! 

This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,

The winds that will be howling at all hours,

And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,

For this, for everything, we are out of tune;

It moves us not. --Great God! I'd rather be

A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;

So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,

Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;

Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;

Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.

William Wordsworth (1807)

I can appreciate Wordsworth's yearning to be overcome by a wonder and awe of the world greater than that allowed to us in this modern, cerebral, and sardonic world.  Not for us the ecstasies and the despairs of ancient peoples.  Probably for the better, but still...

What about those polls showing that citizens in first world countries are less happy with life than those in less developed ones.  How about the fact that so many people take anti-depressants, more for ennui and daily stress than for a true despair of not making it through the latest famine or flood.  Is something missing from our modern lives?  Wordsworth thought so.

Big Beautiful Hiding Place

You can't see the crowd that tried to squash me and my friends from this shot because this big beautiful building is standing directly in front of them.  Clever, but I know the crowd is still back there, waiting for me...

I Hate Crowds, Especially The Ones That Try To Kill You

 
We went to Red Square for New Year's Eve.  The Square with St. Basil's Cathedral and all the lights was spectacular.  The bone-crushing crowd on the way in was terrifying.  At one point I had decided to bail, but there was no way out.  Not a feeling I enjoy.  I'll post more pictures if my connection stays up.  Something about a missed bill....