Back when we had lice, I decided, based on anecdotal testimonies from complete strangers on the internet, to go out and buy the world's most powerful hair blower and desiccate the evil. So, off I went to the nearest appliance store. As there are usually eight Russian employees per customer, I was immediately asked if I needed help. In my best, clearest Russian I explained that I was looking for the world's most powerful hair blower. This also turned out to be the world's most expensive. Then, since this store also stocked the world's least expensive hair blower for around 5 bucks, I grabbed a couple of those. Five of us in the family have long hair and we only had one pathetic machine.
The young man helping me looked at me in a way that said, "Why are you buying so many hair blowers?" I told him, again in near perfect Russian, that I needed them because I wanted a lot of children. He thought this was hilarious, and he shouted out to his horde of fellow workers just what I had said. This got a big laugh. Of course, I was going for: "I need them because I have a lot of children."
It didn't help any that I tried to explain what I really meant. Too late. I was now a man-hungry, middle-aged woman looking to get that glossy, blow-dried look in order to snag a baby daddy. Why do I try to speak Russian?
It was your perfectly beautiful coif that first attracted me to you, that made me think "Wow, she'd make beautiful children."
And you're not middle-aged...
Posted by: DH | 06/01/2010 at 06:29 PM
Seeing that we're the same age, I think you might have an ulterior motive for thinking that.
Posted by: MTheads | 06/04/2010 at 12:08 PM