How to Entertain Badly
Yes, you can spend money to buy really nice things that reflect your entertaining style. Or, you can use whatever happens to be lying around the house or perched precariously outside in your neighbor’s trash area. My way (the latter) is much cheaper. And, quite frankly, I can’t pull off anything else.
Excellent tip number 1) Recycle those bottles and jars! Think GREEN FIRST
I like to use old bottles to store drinks like Cheap White Wine, Cheap Red Wine or Tap Water. Who is going to be any the wiser? As if people can really tell the difference between something French and something on sale. And bottles make excellent vases. Your guests will think, “What a clever use of an old soy sauce bottle!”
Jars make unique vessels for amuse bouche. And a motley mix of jars and bottles will clue your guests into the fact that you are a bohemian and rules don’t apply to you. Good to get that point across right away, as dinner is only going downhill in class from the “jam jar” martinis.
You might consider leaving a couple of Mother Earth News magazines lying around for your guests to spot. Guilt over their own prodigal use of our scarce resources will lead them to assume you are truly committed to making our Earth a better place. Hence, your recycled crap will take on a sheen of enviable authenticity.
Excellent tip number 2) Chicken is today’s little black dress
Chicken: Pretty much it’s chicken all the time at our house. If a recipe calls for poached salmon, replace it with poached chicken breast. Seared tuna? Seared chicken breast. Lamb chops? Broiled chicken breast. You are not imagining a trend.
I’ve discovered that I cannot mess up chicken breasts. And they are always available! Cover those breasts with pistachios and you have a first class main course. Your guests will relish the change from the salmon, tuna, and lobster they are usually served. Throw in that you learned the dish from your Hungarian chicken-raising Nagymama and everyone will swear they can taste the love.
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