I haven't written about it for awhile, but I'm still lifting weights regularly. And I'm still following my rather idiosyncratic plan of lifting heavy and infrequently. It's hard! I try to push myself to complete fatigue every time I work out which is about every 5 to 7 days. I do the whole body each time, with maybe 2 to 3 exercises per portion with anywhere from 4 to 10 reps for 2 or 3 sets. I'm rarely in the gym for more than an hour. Which has led to one guy asking me after a particularly grueling workout how could I complain of being so tired when I had just gotten to the gym.
I'm basically following a high intensity workout plan with plenty of rest time in between workouts. Luckily, there is a lot more known about this approach to exercising. One can read Mike Mentzer or Body by Science, by John R. Little and Doug McGuff, for example. Both great sources explaining the reasoning behind the less is more philosophy.
This approach to exercising is a revolution -- a revolution based on a better understanding of how the human body responds to weight bearing stimuli. Why spend hours exercising when one can concentrate one's effort into a fraction of the time. It's energy and time efficient. It's the intelligent way to lift weights. As far as aerobics go, I don't do much. But I do wonder if the same high intensity approach couldn't be applied to aerobic exercise like running and swimming. Maybe one day I'll try it.
Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love People
In reality, I'm not a people person. I just don't understand them. Remember how as a child adults were these capricious, inscrutable, and often cruel creatures who acted as if they had never been children themselves? Well, that's how they still seem to me. What do they want?? I've spent most of my life trying to figure this out. And I have learned a few survival strategies on my own through trial and error. One, they want liquor. The more, the better. They want flattery. But not too much. Loyalty is good. Though it doesn't necessarily go both ways. Sex works with men, but this has limited application. Outside of those things, I'm at a loss.
So I've decided to read books that can help me better understand the dynamics of successful relationships: Books that promise to teach me how to make friends, how to make small talk, how to talk to strangers, sell things to strangers, arm twist the conversation back to selling things to strangers, trick strangers into buying things from me since I am obviously such a likable and trust-worthy person.
Here are a few things I've learned:
1) Never talk about oneself unless absolutely cornered by someone who has read the same books.
2) Wear something interesting, a "whatzit?", in order to draw comments from people curious as to why you are wearing a baguette as a hat.
3) Never talk about anything controversial. People are delicate flowers who will hold a differing opinion against you until the icy end of the universe. Particulary sensitive are women, democrats, and other cultists.
4) Keep eye contact, but not too much. More with women, less with men. Not dead center, but 5 degrees to the right, no, left. Blink with a natural "hey, I'm your pal" cadence.
5) And remember, with every word you utter you risk destroying every scrap of good will you've managed to build. Despair will be your companion on this journey.
Posted at 10:20 AM in Thoughtful Commentary | Permalink | Comments (1)
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